


Sanctuary

by MiyuTanemura



Series: Substitute 'verse [2]
Category: Fairy Tail
Genre: Guilt, M/M, Regret
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-02
Updated: 2012-09-02
Packaged: 2017-11-13 09:09:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,087
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/501833
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MiyuTanemura/pseuds/MiyuTanemura
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Natsu realizes the consequences of his choices.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sanctuary

**Sanctuary**

Life was good.

That’s what one dragon slayer, Natsu Dragneel couldn’t help but think.

Finally, his life had gotten better and he had what he had longed to have for so long. Well, not everything but it was a good part, so he had motives to be content.

Lisanna was back.

And at this precise moment everything seemed to go pretty well. He had changed his team, now pairing up with Lisanna and Happy exclusively. Lucy was strong enough to begin her own team and that basically settled it, right? If the younger one was strong enough to have her own team, the other members of the ex-team Natsu were also capable. But, anyway, his life had taken a turn for the better, having Lisanna on his side had reawakened certain aspects of the fire mage that he had thought were long gone. And so, Natsu felt himself change. A good part of the day started speeding up – there was just enough time to catch up on the things that mattered. And the never ending movement also kept him from thinking and remembering other things that mattered…

Like the reason to why he still felt bereft.

Deep, deep down he knew why. How could he not? But the Salamander wasn’t stupid. He knew that he had to stay away from those thoughts. Otherwise, everything he had longed for, worked for, would’ve been for nothing.

No, Natsu wasn’t stupid… so he didn’t allow himself to think of it, to dwell on the past. After all, they said that the past was in the past and therefore you couldn’t do anything to change it.

And the dragon slayer wasn’t going to do anything. He made that choice, damn it!

~^~

He might spend most of his time with Lisanna and the girls but he couldn’t help but notice the changes that occurred on the remaining member of the group – the cocky ice mage.

After some time he couldn’t help but notice the differences; and Natsu wasn’t even looking closely! (‘ _Liar!_ ’ yelled a small voice in the back of his head)

Gray was starting to fade out. He was like a small flame, flickering and trying to battle against the wind but losing that same battle and it only needed another, slightly stronger blow, for it to fade forever.

His friends were quite worried – Lucy and Erza discussed several options to make Gray stand on his feet again. Hell, they even tried to make Natsu defy the other mage to one of their mock fights. The fire mage had tried but what could he do when the jibes and taunts were met with a perpetual wall of silence?

So he had stopped trying, much to the annoyance of the girls. Lisanna and their new missions were more important than a grown up mage throwing a tantrum and acting all crazy, right?

If only he could believe the lies he told himself…

~^~

Nights were difficult moments.

Not only because he didn’t have Lisanna there to talk to him and distract him but also because he didn’t have anything to do to occupy his mind. Besides, the night was also… associated to other things… another person who he had forgotten and gotten over already. It hadn’t been hard. Lisanna was his choice and he didn’t have-

Wait. That was it. He had to have Lisanna spending the nights too. That would settle it.

~^~

_The chill brought by the darkness used to be welcomed._

_The breeze that swept across Magnolia took him back to the times in which it had caressed naked limbs as they calmed after a pleasurable, physical exertion. Hands followed the breeze and created trails that evoked shivers. These were silent, secretive moments. No-one was to know of the deep trust that was binding them._

_The world outside those four walls melted away and only the silvery beams of moonlight were to witness what had happened._

_Lips and fingertips ran, reverently, over slightly damp skin._

_Promises were made._

_Not the usual promises, though. At least, not for the one promise._

_This promise was born from the pain and love, of the darkest darkness that came after the brightest moment, one that managed to brighten the bad moments that followed._

_It was a promise whose seed had been planted unbeknownst to either mage, after a knee-jerk reaction by Natsu who didn’t want to lose the ice mage. He had stood in front of Gray, acting as a shield without knowing, but he had had to do something!_

_Afterwards… who cared? Things had evolved and Natsu had found himself really being that to Gray; a shield, a seal, a protection. But… wasn’t he just fooling himself? These late night moments felt more and more like stolen moments and, despite loathing it, Natsu could feel the time slipping through his fingers._

_So, he took extra care in savouring these moments to their fullest. They were so few – and getting to an end really soon._

_For Natsu knew he had a choice to do._

_Follow what he had envisioned all those years ago or try to continue down this new road, filled with moments in which time got suspended, where he was in a sanctuary, warded from the world?_

_What should he choose for his future? The Past or the Present?_

_Both were terribly balanced, and Natsu had never known that he was warring this battle internally – until the moment one of the sides won._

_He talked to the girls first and then took Gray and talked to him._

_He chose the Past._

_Yes, in the end if there was anyone to blame, that would be Natsu…_

~^~

It was a morning like any other, Natsu was sitting at the guild, eating a huge breakfast while he waited for Lisanna who had gone to the market to… to buy something – he didn’t remember what at the moment.

Lucy was talking to Wendy in one of the tables. They had been scribbling some things and thrown doom glares at Natsu when he had tried to get to said table earlier. So, he sat on another table instead and set to eat. However, he could still overhear their conversation.

“Okay, that settles it!” Lucy got up and patted some invisible dust from her skirt. “Now, I think I better go and see Gray. He agreed in going on this mission with me. And the gods know we need those jewels,” she started to pile the scattered papers and books into one huge, neat pile. “Do you want to come with me to check on him? He was to be here already but…” she paused and shook her head, “…he has been really weird lately.”

“Sure, I’ll go,” agreed the young dragon slayer. She got up and motioned to Charlie and Happy to follow. The four didn’t take long to leave the guild.

Natsu grunted stubbornly and continued to eat. He was _not_ going to think of what he had just witnessed, no, he was going to eat and wait for Lisanna!

It didn’t take many dishes before the guild’s heavy door opened with a loud bang – startling everybody – and a blue blur could be seen speeding towards where the Master was.

‘Weird. What is Happy doing, flying that fast? I mean, why is he flying like that?’ Natsu wondered while he looked down into his empty dish.

Here was a commotion (that Natsu saw by the corner of his eye) and people started running, the Master’s voice sounding worried.

‘I wonder what happened…” he thought as he placed another dish in front of himself.

“Hey, what’s the matter? Why are people whispering?” Lisanna asked while she sat in front of the Salamander.

“Mfscht-kno,” he replied, chewing.

“You have to swallow before talking, silly,” replied her, throwing a napkin at Natsu. “And you also should clean your face – it’s gross.”

Natsu cleaned up the grease that covered his face and balled up the napkin, he was about to throw it back at her when the doors were, for the second time, opened with a bang. A number of loud voices echoed, all of them at the same time and all the eyes were drawn to the entrance.

The sight they were met with was like a punch in the gut to everybody.

Gray was lying in a stretcher (Natsu had no idea about who carried it since his eyes were glued to the occupants) with Wendy straddling him and both cats flying overhead. Her hands were resting on the ice mage’s chest and the glow of magic emerged from it. She was completely focused in the task at hand, disconnected from the rest of the world that was moving more frantically with each passing moment. The Master was striding urgently towards the other end of the large salon while Lucy had just entered, looking shaken. Natsu got up and hurried to her side. Deep worry and guilt were gnawing at his insides and the fire mage’s mind was racing. Still, he had to try to help his friend as it probably was the only thing he could do. He led her to the table where he had sat, just seconds ago.

“Lucy, what happened?” he tried to place a hand on her shoulder but she shrugged it off.

“I… I don’t…” she muttered, eyes clouded. “We just… we felt that there was something wrong and as soon as we got to his home… and when he didn’t answer the door we had to _enter_ and then when we got to the- it was…” she closed her eyes. “He was just on the couch, didn’t breathe and there was this weird glossy sheen covering him. Wendy said that we had to save him and she instantly got to work but I… I really couldn’t do anything…” she hid her face in her hands, “I felt so hopeless while Gray just slipped away…”

By the end of Lucy’s speech Natsu was standing up stiffly, looking at her in a way that could only mean bloodshed to come.

“He what?” he said, in a calm voice, balling his fists – his knuckles going white. Both Lucy and Lisanna looked at him inquiringly.

“He did WHAT??” Natsu punched the table, his fists igniting and the table turning into a pile of ash. Everybody was looking astonished at him.

“What did you say that that imbecile of an ice mage just did?” a wave of hot air blasted around Natsu, transforming the main room of the guild in a furnace.

“What do you mean with that, Natsu?” asked Lisanna, she was a bit surprised at the outburst. “Why are you acting like that? You said you weren’t in such good terms with him so-“

“Yeah, Natsu, why the sudden interest? You stopped giving a shit since-“ she shut herself up. It wasn’t her place to say any more.

“I don’t- Look, I just… it was my choice, nothing more. I…” at a loss of what to say, Natsu started to run. He left the guild, ran as fast as he could and left Magnolia. He ran without looking at where he was going and then he came to a stop. He was in a large field, with a small river flowing, to his right. The fire mage paused.

Finally alone he could let out some of his frustrations. And all that came out was an enraged yell. It came from the depths of his being and ended clawing up on the inside of his throat. The control he had over his magic disappeared and a huge ball of fire blasted around him. When his strength left him, Natsu knelt on the now burnt ground. He wasn’t able to see it but the whole plane was black due to the devastation made by his magic.

Natsu’s fists started pounding on the ground, making the dirt crack and break and, after a while, moisten with the blood that started seeping from the fire mage’s now open skin of the knuckles.

“Why, you stupid, shit for brains ice mage? How could you…” he paused for a beat, “Don’t you dare die…” he raged into the skies, “because if you do, I’m going after you and, I promise, I _will_ kill you!”

His fists hit the ground one last time and the Salamander leaned forwards, curling in on himself until his forehead touched the bloodied earth, fingers digging on the ground and eyes shutting tight.

“It was my choice. I had to…” he said in a broken whisper.

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I don’t own Fairy Tail.
> 
> Here is the sequel to No Light.   
> I don’t think that Natsu’s reaction was dangerous enough but it seems that it’s all that the bunny wanted to give… As for the reason why I stopped it here… this felt like the right moment for this oneshot. Maybe it is the end, or maybe another bunny will decide to follow suit. We shall wait and see.  
> Thank you so much for the beta, S. You said that it didn’t have that many typos/errors but I saw them… Once again, a huge thanks for the quick read. *hugs*
> 
> Any feedback is very, very appreciated.
> 
> By the way, the title comes from Utada Hikaru’s song by the same name. It was while listening to it that I was struck by the bunny. For better or for worse, blame her. ^^


End file.
